You never know my pain

I've driven by at least a dozen times since we decided to let our home go. You'll never know the pain I feel seeing my old home fall into disrepair. You'll not feel the loss of part of your soul in a piece of real estate that I once owned. Sometimes my soul aches because of the loss. This was my chance to leave a mark in something tangible and real. Something that can be measured in the earthly realm. It was my sweat that paid the price to own this piece of real estate. It was my my aches and pains that reminded me of the hole I dug into the ground to build the pond we both enjoyed and cherished. It was my time that was spent to give my children memories of something we once owned. I drive by now and feel the tears flowing within my soul for the loss of walking away because we could no longer afford this piece of paradise. I was a home owner, but my American dream was dashed by the reality of life and living in today's society. I look back now and wish I would've held on longer, but no amount of time and or /pain woudl have been diminished no matter how long I would've held on. I hate this feeling of despair. I miss my blackberry patch, my peach tree, my apple tree. I miss the big back yard and all the poison ivy. I miss my garden. I even miss my neighbor Bonny. I miss saying this was my piece of the earth that had my name attached to it. Now it has been relinquished to the bank and someone that will never appreciate this piece of real estate that I once owned. The pain is unbearable. You never know my pain!